Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, “I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.” “I would have bought a cup of tea”, replied the beggar.
The man said, “Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea”. He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, “This is a tree.”
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, “Tree.”
The Priest is pleased with the response.
Mehangai itni badh gayi dhandhe mein competetion bahut ho gaya.
Ek call girl ne apne darwaje par likhwaya
“PAY 4 ONE SIDE AND GET OTHER SIDE BILKUL FREE”
A Policeman was patrolling late at night off the main road.
At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers’ lane, with the interior light brightly glowing.
He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.
Why did Sachin Tendulkar join congress??
He thought Congress is similar to Mumbai Indians.
Captained by a Sardar & owned by a WOMAN !!
A young man went to his grandfather’s place to stay for the weekend. He was sitting down to lunch when he noticed that the spoons and forks were encrusted in a thin filmy substance.
He asked his grandfather,”Are you sure you washed it properly?”
“As clean as cold water can get it” was the reply.
So the young man shrugged and started eating.
GEORGE: Your secretary is very sexy…
BILL: Thanks! It’s a robot actually, named Monica
If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. I’ll lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions.
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can’t just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview.
Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, “What’s 2+2?”
“Ummm… 4!” the blonde says.
Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: “What’s the square root of 100?”
Once upon a time, there was an old miner who was traveling through the desert with his trusty mule of many years. All of a sudden, the mule fell over dead. The old man buried his old friend and put up a cross as a grave marker.
He wrote on the cross, “My Ass”. Then he continued on his journey.
Years later a town grew nearby the grave. The road into town went right by the marker, so the town adopted the name out of respect for the dead mule.
It had become somewhat of a historical site. Then one day, a traveling salesman, who was lost, wondered into the old desert town, but did not notice the marker. He saw a man on the street and stopped to get directions.
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. ? They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.